A few weeks ago, I was standing in line at a pizza shop when I was witness to a most horrific incident of public humiliation. An elderly gentlemen ordered a slice of vegetable pizza. He was followed by a young woman who ordered a similar slice which was of the whole wheat variety. When the first slice came out the fellow took the portion and headed to his seat. It soon became apparent that he had mistakenly taken the whole wheat slice. As he shuffled his way back to the counter, the young lady proceeded to give him the verbal beating of a lifetime. I will not attempt to describe her very loud, vicious and demeaning diatribe as it was too painful to endure. Needless to say I was incensed at her callous and unbecoming behavior and terribly hurt for this older man. I attempted to enjoy my very delicious meal but it was difficult to say the least.

I sat there in shock; what has happened to us, that we can, with seeming ease, lower ourselves to degrade another human being - many years our senior - in public - over a slice of pizza???

In this weeks Torah Portion of Devarim, Moshe Rabbeinu begins his last will and testament to the Jewish People. After years of leading the nation; from triumph to tragedy, and from slavery to freedom, it is time to set the record straight. Moshe will offer words of rebuke so that even after his passing, Bnei Yisroel can learn from their mistakes and flourish in the future.

As we begin to read the Portion we are expecting to see harsh words of rebuke reflecting the serious infractions committed along the way. Yet, suprisingly, to the untrained eye the rebuke is virtually unnoticeable. It requires a scholarly in-depth analysis of the Hebrew words as provided to us by the commentaries to begin to decipher Moshes' complaints.

Rashi in his commentary is bothered by the veiled language. Why is Moshe couching his every rebuke in secrecy and innuendo? Why not just come out and say it the way it is..."Jewish People, you sinned greatly, you turned your back on Hashem, you complained, you had no faith, etc."?

Answers Rashi, Moshe Rabbeinu is teaching us the most important lesson that even when it is necessary to offer sincere and much needed rebuke there is a proper time, place and way to do so. Rebuke if you must, but with compassion and caring. Do so not for your own sake, to make you feel better; but rather only for the well-being of the recipient. If our motives are pure, our words will be soft and understanding. Heaven forbid to cause embarrassment! This is why Moshe Rabbeinu couches his rebuke in almost barely perceptible innuendo, to remind his people of their sins in a loving manner so that they could truly listen to and absorb his message and be encouraged to change.

Appropos to the week of Tisha B'Av, the Talmud in the Tractate of Gittin relates the unfortunate episode of Kamtza and Bar Kamtza which was a catalyst for the destruction of our Holy Temple. Long story short, Bar Kamtza was humiliated in public and as a result he hatched a treasonous plan to slander the Jewish People to the Roman authorities. Having convinced the Caesar of the {fictitious} pending Jewish rebellion, the Roman armies destroyed Jerusalem, murdered millions of Jews and brought about our current exile.

At the conclusion of the story the Talmud notes, "Come and see how great is the power of embarrassment. On account of it Bar Kamtza was able to cause the Holy Temple to be destroyed." Bar Kamtza was certainly no saint, in fact he was quite the opposite; nevertheless, we see the devastating effects of what can occur as a result of public humiliation.

During this week leading up to Tisha B'Av as we mourn the loss of our Holy Temple, let us reflect upon the underlying cause of its destruction, and why we have not yet merited to be redeemed.  If we do so, we will undoubtedly be inspired to engage in "Ahavas Yisroel", loving others, engage in acts of kindness and certainly distance ourselves from unbecoming behavior.

We can have our pizza and enjoy it too - with love, respect and dignity for all.

May our positive actions be a catalyst for the coming of the Moshiach, the rebuilding of our Holy Temple, and the redemption from this long and bitter exile, speedily in our days. Amen!